Sunday, January 10, 2010


The other day I was watching the Biggest Loser (worthy of its own individual post, for sure). With the exception of Season 2 with Matt and Suzy, this a recent addition to my TV viewing. I am now watching the season where Ali wins (season 6 maybe?).

In the episode where they do the Prevention magazine photoshoot, they have to go to Macy's to pick outfits so that they can get all dressed up for their photo spread. Both Ali and Brittany have the same comment -- one that I have thought all the time. It made me realize that maybe most of us bigger girls share it.

They talked about the number of shoes, purses, and accessories they had. I am the same way. This is particularly ironic given that I didn't consistently carry a purse (favoring a sensible wristlet or nothing for a good 5 years, with short hiatuses) until earlier this year. I think my inability to shop for flattering clothes for so long also explains my obsession with any sort of Bath and Body Works, Body Shop, etc. products. There are no sizes on lotions or body butters. Bring it on baby! However, when I'd go shopping with friends accessories would be one of the only things I could shop for in many of the stores, because they would be one of the only things that would fit. Even shoes are tough for me to find -- although easier than plus sized clothes -- because I wear a size 11. I just don't fit into regular sizes yet, so finding them when I'm shopping requires a trip either to a special section of a store or to a special store altogether. Yes friends, I think my weight has fueled my love of bags, purses, earrings, and lotions. This is a result of hating the way I looked and hating having to face the dreaded three-way mirror present in most dressing rooms.

One of the things I am looking forward to most about getting further down the road of this journey is being able to shop at normal stores and know that they will have something to fit me!!! I think that life will improve a lot once I get solidly to a size 18. Most stores carry 16s so life will be even better then. If I'm a size 12 or 14 most all stores will carry clothes for me -- save the really fancy designers who design only for anorexics. I think some of them stop at a size 10. Fortunately, a) I can't afford these clothes anyway making it a non-issue, b) I live in Arkansas so no one here would sell them, c) no one would really know whether I was wearing Versace anyway here, and d) I really just don't care that much about labels.

I am currently a size 20 for most things (save the pants on the clothing hit list) after starting out at a 26. I am making progress and am kind of close to being able to get back in 18s. I've got a ways to go to be a 14 or 12, but I will get there. It will take time, but I am excited for the day to come!

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