Wednesday, February 24, 2010

When things don't make sense

This weekend, I went to Columbus OH to see my brother perform his senior recital (he is a bassoon performance and composition major), and I had a really good time. I did not stay on my plan, which was part of my plan. I suppose I could have been more dedicated about it, but I didn't want to. This is not to say that I went completely crazy, but I did have several treats I rarely allow myself (chocolate and other types of sugar) and I let myself have other treats more than usual (cheese dip). I wasn't expecting the number on the scale to be awesome when I got home, but I wasn't sure what it would be.

I was up a pound. That seemed about right, and I was not disappointed. However, it has been really tough to get back on the plan. I feel like the verse in Romans where Paul is talking about feeling like has no control over what he is doing, and doing what he hates. I have been continuing to shovel crappy junk food into my body. Monday when I got back from my trip (which was a nightmare due to the terrible customer service of Delta airlines), I could have easily gone to the gym, but I didn't. I instead went to Chili's for dinner and graded exams all evening. Tuesday I ate out -- twice. And it was not healthy either time.

Yet, today the scale is the lowest it has ever been on this part of the journey (245.8). It makes no sense. The scale I have also gives a number for visceral fat, which is some reading of how much fat is surrounding your organs -- ie, a measure of the dangerous fat. My number has been 8 for as long as I had my scale (the high end of the normal/healthy range), but today it went down to 7. Again, the best ever for me.

I'm not sure why the scale is cooperating when it clearly shouldn't be. Maybe I am dehydrated (though I don't think so -- drank plenty of water yesterday). Maybe this is the hard work I did last week catching up with me, when I barely lost anything. Maybe it's a fluke. I have no idea. Regardless, I need to get back on plan.

I need to eat things that will help my body to stay healthy, and the foods I have been eating are not those types of food. It is important for my heart and my overall health to fuel my body with the right things. Every time I get off plan for any extended period I wonder "Was that really worth it?" simply because it is so hard to get back on the right track. My health should be a strong enough motivator but sometimes it is not. I really need to dig deep today and pack my lunch and stop whining and fretting about all of this. Just do it.

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