Sunday was a REALLY bad day food wise. In the morning, I ate a whole cheese ball and a bunch of Melba toast crackers. WHAT?! And for dinner, I made my favorite hashbrown casserole -- yes, I made it with 2% cheese, the healthy cream of mushroom soup vs. the full fat one, and with fat free sour cream. However, I ate like 70% of it for dinner. Yes, that's right, 70% of a 9x13" pan. WHAT?! Who does that? (and, in the spirit of honesty, I ate the rest for breakfast the next day). I also had two plums that day. That was my entire diet for the day -- cheeseball, crackers, hashbrown casserole, plums. Hardly nutritious (though I guess it did have a lot of calcium?).
I don't do stuff like that everyday, but it still bothers me that it happens at all. I have no idea why I do stuff like that. I have been trying to figure this out. I think a lot of it has to do with feeling like I "earn" things. Sunday I went hiking, and so I thought I would burn a lot of calories -- thus "earning" the cheeseball. I'm not sure if that's the reason or not. It's not like I was extra sad on Sunday or anything. I know for sure that food is not the way to deal with emotion and am trying (somewhat successfully) to decouple the two. I have the occasional setback with that, but overall I'm doing a lot better.
Yet I still overeat -- why? I must figure this out if I expect to be successful in the longrun.
These setbacks are not to say I have not been without victories. Two specific things from this weekend come to mind. First of all, I am a member of the local movie theater's reward club. Basically it's like a frequent shopper card where if you go to a certain number of movies, you can earn rewards. I have earned free popcorn before, and I did not use it (have you ever googled the amount of calories in movie theatre popcorn? Even WITHOUT the butter it is absolutely outrageous). This weekend I earned a premium reward. With this, you can either choose a free popcorn and drink or a free movie. I chose the movie without hesitation. Back in the day, I would have picked the popcorn and pop without thinking. Victory!
The second victory was PERILOUSLY close to a defeat. Fatties worldwide love December 26, November 1, February 15, and the day after Easter. Why? HALF PRICE CANDY!!! This girl was no different. November 1, I went to Walmart at 7:00 (thank you time change and thank you hiking for making me not feel obligated to shower that day) and I did troll through the Halloween clearance section. I carefully made my selection (a Reese's multipack with peanut butter cups, Reeses pieces, etc) and placed it into my basket. I felt guilty about it, but made all kinds of excuses to rationalize it to myself. I got up to the checkout lane to pay for this bag o' goodies and decided I just could not do it. Instead of getting a value-sized bag o' candies, I would just get a candy bar or two. I picked out a Mounds and a Reeses PB cup and decided to get those instead. However, I eventually decided that was lame also and just didn't get any candy. I was proud of myself (although, as I mentioned, I did get a cheeseball so it's not like I'm THAT awesome or anything -- but originally the plan was cheeseball + candy so it is an improvement).
Those are some of the things going on around here. I have good food days. I have bad food days. I need to figure out why I eat so much. If I don't, I do not think I can be very successful at winning this battle against living unhealthily. It's really just never a good idea to eat a whole cheeseball at once, even though they are delicious.
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