Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I'm worried about you

One of my colleagues is as fat as I was when I started. I can hear this person's heavy breathing every time he/she walks by me or my office (not in a gross sexual predator way, but in an "it's hard for my body to support all this weight" way). I am concerned for this person -- genuinely so, not in a passive aggressive way that I just wish this person would lose weight.

I think back to my days on morbidly obese island (I've now been upgraded to plusher accommodations on only obese island), and I remember every time someone expressed concern about my weight or health I either got offended or I felt like more of a failure because I was so fat. The real change didn't come because someone else told me I should change or want to change -- the real change came when I was ready. People's worry -- whether genuine or not -- was completely lost on me. Seriously.

I hope this person's health is ok and that his/her weight does not hold him/her back from having a full, healthy, productive life. In the meantime, I will keep my concern -- while genuine and I think coming from the right place -- to myself.


  1. amen! I feel like this often and bite my tongue.

  2. maybe you could talk about what you do in a round about way and maybe you'll encourage him/her? I can only imagine it's like telling someone to quit smoking~ they just get annoyed.

  3. I could not have said it any better myself. I feel like this applies to most things in life. What you said about being offended or feeling more of a failure... ugh! hit me right in the heart, I didn't have the words but that is a perfect description! Great post! Good luck to you and also to your co-worker

  4. I've always been the same way. People's worry or concern actually made me rebel (even though I was only hurting myself) and eat more, in a way, saying I will do what I want with my life and I won't change it just because you think I should. Like you, when I started my weight loss journey, it was because I was ready, finally to take charge of my health. No one said anything to me, or told me I should. It was 100% my decision, and I grabbed it and ran!

  5. I hate feeling like I want to help but I can't, or that there is no right way to. But I was so happy the first time I realized that at least some of the people who suggested I lose weight or made comments probably did so because they just want something better for me - and not because they're mean skinny jerks! It was a good feeling.

  6. Years ago at an Al Anon meeting, they told us that NOTHING anyone else says or does will cause a person to try to change their life permanently until THEY are ready for permanent change.
    I think that is also true for ANY big, overwhelming and major lifestyle change such as losing weight.
    You have to let each person hit that one point where they are done, they are ready, they seek a permanent change.

    Set a good example. That's the best you can do, and you are clearly doing that already! =)



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