Balance

This isn't about the physical kind of balance, though I must say that I have improved in that area (have a long way to go still though!). I am finding it tough to find balance in this journey to a healthy lifestyle. In fact, it's probably what I'd identify as my #1 issue right now related to this food/weight/lifestyle thing.

I can succeed in the food department when I have structure -- I like that about Weight Watchers, as it helps me to figure out where I can give and take and still see some success with respect to losing weight. However, I sometimes let go and feel this is appropriate. For example, on my birthday I am going to go out to eat and get exactly what I want and not feel badly about it. Actually, there are ways that you can do this on Weight Watchers, but it requires you to restrict what you do for the rest of the week (e.g., you save up your "extra points" and then use them on your birthday). I'm not willing to do that yet. Maybe in time I will be.

Part of the reason I struggle is that, although I want good results and quickly if possible, I want to be doing something that I will do for the rest of my life. At this point, I am not willing to cut too many corners on letting myself have occasional indulgences that relate to food. Maybe in time I will be, and probably as I become smaller it will become more necessary to maintain that weight. However, I weigh 257 now and it is not necessary to be too strict while still being able to see results (although I still need structure). Thus, I'm willing to kind of take the slower, more meandering road as it relates to weight loss. If I do the right things, eventually I will lose the weight. It probably won't be all within the next year, but I will eventually lose it if I continue to do the right things. That is why I want to give myself some allowances so the definition of "right things" isn't so stringent I am unable to meet it. This is a relatively recent shift in my perspective and, for now, I am comfortable with it.

Blogging all this helps me to sort it out. I am still not sure where the healthy balance between needing to eat right most of the time and allowing myself indulgences is. I am sure it is different for everyone, and probably even for a single person varies over time (yes, I am looking at you my over-30 metabolism). I need to be aware of these things so I can find the answer for myself, right now. As of yet, I am still looking for it though.