Brief update

I actually have a lot to say, and I've been taking pictures to make posts. However, time really has not permitted it. Also for some reason I feel like I am retreating from the online world a bit -- reading fewer blogs, etc. Facebook remains a guilty pleasure though. I think I am just busier than I have been for a long time and I'm taking time from the online world and my online life/persona and using it in my real life.

One of the things that has struck me lately is my lack of focus. I work hard, I try to do a lot -- but I think I might be trying to do too much so I am going to reel back and just focus on eating better/less and moving more.

I think I am bidding adieu to the Perfect 10 challenge. I really appreciate Steve's willingness to organize it and line up sponsors, but the goals I set are somewhat arbitrary and not all directly related to my highest two priorities right now which are losing weight and working toward that gun show. I also joined a program at school called Commit to Fit which offers small group personal training and is a mechanism to help you work toward your goals. However, this translates into two weekly training sessions and with the other things that I do, I would either a) need to cut an activity or activities from my current lineup, or b) add an additional two hours of training to my week. I am unwilling to do a, and unable to do b. Therefore, I think the Commit to Fit is a no go for me. I am already committed to my fitness -- I think it would be hard to dispute that. I just am not willing to commit extra time to it. In a word, I need to FOCUS. In two words, I need to FOCUS and SIMPLIFY.

Today I made it through the day without a major binge -- the first Sunday I've done so in several weeks. I went to a Superbowl party and definitely splurged, but nothing I am embarrassed about and nothing like eating a whole pizza. It was interesting to watch and observe how other people dealt with junk food. I don't know how they would characterize their behavior, but none of them really overdid it. I bet they would say that they did, but really, they didn't. I would have kept going back and back for seconds in the past, but this time I kept it pretty sane. I did not track everything (and would have to make estimates for stuff), but I did keep the portions relatively reasonable. I would definitely be within my points for the week. (Although, incidentally, I was last week too when I ate an entire pizza on Sunday)

This post lacks focus, but I do want to let you know I am hanging in there, I am working out, I am eating right, and I am looking forward to my weigh in this week. I hope the news is good. I have been hitting all time lows for this bout of the weight loss journey -- numbers I haven't seen for more than 3 years.

Perfect 10 - Week 4

This week was not noteworthy. Here is an update on my progress on my goals.

• Not eat out except once a week - This was a HUGE fail. I lost count of how many times I ate out, but it was probably 4-5. Grade: F. Not sure why I totally lost my mojo on this one. I need to reevaluate this goal.
• Lose weight - lost 2 lbs. Good job on this goal. Despite my huge binge on Sunday and not tracking a single thing I ate on that day (but tracking all other days), I lost weight. This is because I work out so much. I got a BodyBugg and now know that I burn an average of 3400-3700 calories on days that I work out, which is typically 6 days per week. This was (more than) enough to create a ~7000 calorie deficit for the week, despite my serious overeating on Sunday. Grade: A-
• Working out - I have settled into a rhythm so it is starting to feel like a routine. There is a small modification, though. I don't think I will be able to go to water aerobics anymore! Info to follow. This week I went to BodyPump, Zumba, water aerobics, and group cycle classes. Did not work on the elliptical goal -- although I did join a new gym so that it is easier to get time on the elliptical. I really like it and the classes are so much less crowded. I really like working out there, and it is nice not to run into any of my students. I feel more comfortable there. Grade: A

I have to say - I did not really give these goals much thought this week. Work has been absolutely insane, getting ready for a huge deadline and having to keep the normal things moving along too (teaching, working out, etc). I need to get past this deadline so I can refocus on my goals. I am also thinking about adjusting my goals a bit to be something I can relate more to. I will think about it.

My fact. This will not be news to my local readers but I'm not sure about everyone else. This is the second year in a row we've had a big winter weather storm, incidentally almost exactly one year apart. The first system that moved through is the same ice storm system that wreaked havoc on Steve's house (see his post - the damage was worst in Arkansas and Kentucky), and this year we were fortunate to have more of a snow storm than an ice storm. In the aftermath of last year's storm, many people were without power for a week or longer. However, I learned as a result of the storm that I am on the same power grid as Walmart and our local hospital, so I was out of power for less than 4 hours total. School was cancelled for almost an entire week because of all of the downed tree limbs and, worse, the tree limbs that had not fallen but were hanging on by a thread. With all of the foot traffic on campus, they could not have school until those overhead limbs were all cleaned up so as not to pose risks to student/faculty/staff/community pedestrians. This year, we have received about 6-8" snow and it is atop a thick layer of ice (thick enough that, when I tried to scrape my windshield yesterday, the ice was flush with my windshield wipers). People were much more prepared for this year's storm. We all learned last year. This storm has been much milder, though, and there are very few power outages reported. I went for a walk in it last night and it was very pretty. I only had one flicker of power but I never lost it completely.

Perfect 10 - Week 3

It's Friday (well it's 12:25 so technically it's Saturday, but show a little grace please?), it's time for a Perfect 10 update. My three goals are to eat out less, lose weight, and work out.

• This week I ate out three times. My goal is once or less. Technically I think two of these times are ok and fall within the parameters of my initial post. Let me tell you about each of the times I ate out. The first time I ate out last was last Friday. I was supposed to meet a friend who I don't know too well (just met her once at hiking club) for dinner and to go to a comedy show. I told her I was going to be cutting it close to the starting time (7PM we thought) because I had a Zumba class that did not end until 6:30 and I would just meet her at the comedy venue. I made it to the comedy venue around 6:55 and it was COMPLETELY. EMPTY! I learned that the show didn't start until 8 PM. I called my friend and asked where she was. She responded "Oh we're close. In Pineville I think?" I googled where Pineville was to see how close she was, and realized she meant Pineville, MO, not Pineville, AR -- which is 57 minutes away. Um, how is that close?! Anyway, I told her there was no way I would be able to wait for another hour plus after the show to eat. I had just finished Zumba so I was hungry!! And now I was really somewhere in the annoyed to P.O.ed range because of this rudeness -- since when is an hour away a "little" late?! At this point in the story, I decided I had no choice but to go out (did not have time to go home, eat something, come back). I was annoyed because I was "wasting" my meal out eating by myself -- and I did feel like a bit of a loser chowing down by myself at a restaurant on Friday night. I really wanted to eat something unhealthy, and a lot of it. I get that way when I experience strong emotions -- and in this case I was so pissed. However, I did not use the opportunity to overeat. I went to the greek place and I ordered a side salad and a chicken gyros plate (just the meat) with rice. It is tasty. I ate half and saved the rest for the next day. I stayed well within my WW points for the day and made food choices I was really proud of. I have to say, the whole experience made me feel so excited, and like I really was changing my life rather than falling into the destructive bad habits of the past. I am sure I felt so much better about just making good choices than I ever would have been stuffing my face with something unhealthy. I ate out two more times that week -- once because I did not have time to go home for dinner (and could not figure out anything to pack that did not need refrigerated all day and/or nuked for dinner), and another time because - even though it should have been like the day before with the no time to go home for dinner thing, it ended up not being like that since I decided not to work out when I realized I had not had a workout-free day for over a week. By the time I realized this and made the decision, I was so excited/pumped to eat at Jimmy John's that I just decided to do it. Total for the week: 3 meals out. Two over my goal but technically only one illegal meal. Fail, but I feel better about it this week than last. I have to say that every time I eat out now, I wince a little on the inside because it usually costs $8-12 (I have been going to modestly-priced restaurants now). Did I really used to spend that kind of $$ everyday to eat out, and twice probably 3-4 times/week? Yes, yes I did. Oy.... I give my goal on this for the week a C+ again.
• My second goal was to get the WL train moving again. Slam dunk on this one: lost 4.4 lbs this week, although I still don't really get how I pulled such a big number. I did the same things I did the week before and didn't really step it up in any aspect of my program. Grade A+
• My third set of goals were exercise related. I wanted to attend three different classes weekly -- and I did: Zumba, Water Aerobics (and Aqua Abs for a bonus), and Body Sculpt. I think I have settled into a nice rhythm here. For the elliptical, I did not do anything on this goal and now (I think because I've been off the machine for so long -- I only did it twice this week because the gym is still packed and it is tough to get time on the machine) I don't care about this goal anymore. Not sure if I will continue to keep it or not. Grade A.

Previously unknown fact: My dad was a truck driver when I was a child (he just retired relatively recently), and when I was little one of my favorite things was to take short trips with him. One of the reasons was because I liked to spend time with him, but one of the other reasons was because when I traveled with him we would eat out and he would stop at McDonalds and get me hot chocolate. He told me when I was younger how he was sick of McDonalds and I just could not wrap my 6-year-old brain around that. I totally get it now, and the thought of McD's almost always revolts me -- but I do have to say that I love most of their breakfast sandwiches and now most days make a healthier version of the egg McMuffin. I use real ham (that I have honey glazed in my own delicious way -- not the deli variety), a 1 point super-high fiber English Muffin, a free-range egg I cook overeasy in one of those egg circles, and a wedge of laughing cow cheese -- preferably the garlic and herb variety. I usually have this with a side of cherry tomatoes.

Misc. Updates

• This week is so f-ing busy. Both today and tomorrow are going to be work->gym->other engagement days which won't land me home until around 9 PM...and will require me either to pack two dinners or grab dinner out. I am going to grab dinner out and I won't feel badly about it, even though I won't make my Perfect 10 goal for the week. My heart is in the right place and I just cannot forsee an easy workaround for this (can't keep the food cold all day and I won't have access to a microwave at night). I would eat at home if I easily could.
• I have been getting lots of compliments on the way I am losing weight today. I must have picked something flattering to wear? Gotta love wearing black and gray.
• Today I am wearing a skirt I got from Target in October on clearance for $5. Although it did not fit at the time (much to my dismay), it was a 20 and I thought I would be able to get into it soon enough. Well, if by "soon enough" you mean "2.5 months later", it did :) I tried it on last night for kicks and it fit with some room to spare. Some good news to get my week going. I need it since I anticipate this week will kick my butt.

Perfect 10 - Week 2

Remember that I committed to a 10 week challenge called the Perfect 10. Quick review: I have three categories of goals. Updates below.

• Goal #1: Eat out once a week or less (there are some caveats, read the original post for details) - I ate out twice this week, but I would hardly call either meal worth it. Sunday night I was munchy munchy and just in the mood to eat crappy food. Sunday I just didn't feel like things were clicking. I have no idea what was up. This story, unfortunately, does not end well. It ends up, of all places, at the Sam's Club snack bar. While grocery shopping I just could not resist one of those pieces of pizza. Well, technically I could have, but I chose not to. A $2.48 slice of pizza and pop. Are you for real?! I hemmed and hawed over whether I should count that as a meal out. I mean, my motivation was both financial and for health. Should I really count $2.48 as an infraction? I ultimately decided that, yes, I needed to. This journey is for me. It's not for anyone else. If I lie or stretch the rules about what it means to eat out, I am just harming myself. More fundamentally, it sets a dangerous precedent. Little white lies become bigger and bigger and bigger....until they're 299.5 lbs or bigger big. And man, I don't need that! The second meal was today at lunch. I had Subway. All by myself, the result of poor planning and not having a lunch ready. Like I said, neither meal out was really worth it. Overall grade on eating out goal: C. Worlds better than before the challenge, but it's week two so the grading gets tougher. To get an A you have to nail the goal, which I did not do.

• Goal #2: Jump aboard the weight loss train again. I rejoined WW last week, and this week was my first weigh in. I lost 2.6 lbs. I count it a win. I am not loving weighing in fully clothed and later in the day, but loving watching the number go down :) I give myself an A on this goal.

• Goal #3: The fitness goals. I wanted to attend three different fitness classes a week -- this week I did five. I did BodySculpt (very similar to Les Mills' BodyPump) -- it's an all over toning class, working through all the major muscle groups in the body. I did Zumba -- twice! I loved it. I did Group Cycle spinning classes -- twice! (and again in the morning too). Tough workout, but I like it and I love the music. I did PiYo (pilates yoga fusion) and boy do I despise it. I like stretching my hips out (helps with my SI joint pain), but I despise sun salutations. And the whole thing seems very boring to me. At least there is music. And, of course, I did my beloved water aerobics :) With respect to the elliptical machine goal I set, I did not work on it. I am not sure whether it is doable (probably it is), but let me offer a legitimate explantation as to why I did not work on it. This week the gym has been PACKED. I swear to you that every single sorority girl apparently made a New Year's resolution to hit the gym, because darned if they are not all there (typically in packs of 5-10). It has been absolutely a beast to try to get a machine at the gym. I give myself a pass on this, and am considering joining a real gym (in addition to the one at school) that is less crowded so that I can try to meet my elliptical goal. I have not decided on this yet. Overall for this goal: I believe I earned an A since I literally could not get time on the elliptical. (Bonus - earned 60 activity WW points)

Overall, my grades average out to a B+. Not atrocious by any standard, but I am a perfectionist and I WANT AN A!! I need to up the game if I am going to earn that for next week :)

As for a previously unknown fact (to most of my readers anyway) -- I failed swim lessons 3 different times when I was a child. I hated putting my face in the water. I feared drowning and would cling on to the poor teachers for dear life. Fast forward to high school. My senior year, I went out for the swim team my senior year because a lot of my friends were on it. It was a great experience and the same guy who used to run the swim lessons was the HS swim coach. He was incredibly patient and encouraging, and I love him and sincerely appreciate him allowing me to be on the team. It was such a great experience. I absolutely sucked at swimming -- I beat a grand total of 6 people in a swim race, ever, including one relay team of four (and, BTW, there are 24 swimmers in a relay event. I probably swam 2 relays a meet. Probably about 10 meets. See, I am not exaggerating when I say I sucked!) -- but I had a great time. Although it was not really my calling to be a swimmer, I did win the award for most team spirit. More importantly, it helped me to love the water. Swimming is still one of my favorite ways to exercise, and I am absolutely hooked on water aerobics and aqua abs classes -- I've come a long way from not even being to put my face in the water to spending an hour in a 13' deep pool (it used to be 5 days a week) for my water aerobics classes.

Life here today

Today I really knocked it out of the park with respect to my exercise. It's not sustainable and it is unlikely to happen again anytime soon, but I met one of my Perfect 10 goals for the week already! Today I went to a spin class in the morning, and Body Sculpt and PiYo this afternoon. This meets one of my Perfect 10 goals which is to go to at least three different classes a week -- and it's only Monday!!!

I have to keep it real ya'll (yes, I am becoming southern) -- I am really not feeling PiYo or yoga at all. It can be so boring! Especially plain vanilla yoga. I'm not a fan and for some reason I absolutely despise sun salutations.

Today the gym was packed. I have to say that I really wish everyone luck on their new years resolutions but I do selfishly miss the days when the gym was less crowded. I guess that makes me selfish.

Not eating out

Remember that one of my goals for the Perfect 10 challenge is to eat out a lot less. I am doing actually really well on this goal! I have eaten out twice in the last week -- both times at Subway -- and since Christmas break started I think I have eaten out a total of five times. By the way, only two of these times were really "worth it": once when a friend who has moved away was here from out of town, and secondly when I had to work, exercise, and get to a show at the Walton Arts Center by 7. The other times could have been avoided with better planning and/or more desire to eat at home -- and the food probably would have been better.

There are a couple of things striking me on this whole eating at home phenomenon. First of all, I am drinking so much less soda. I used to order pop (I'm originally from Ohio; yes, I call it pop) with almost every meal I ate out. And since I ate out once a day -- sometimes twice -- most days, that adds up to a lot of pop! Let's *VERY CONSERVATIVELY* say that I ate out 5 times a week. Pop costs usually about $2 at a restaurant. This adds up to $520 a year! Think how many 2 liters you could buy with that money. Also, it's really not good for my health -- water is so much better -- so think about that aspect too. Now that I am eating at home and the holidays are over, I am only letting myself buy pop for very special occasions and very rarely.

The second thing that is striking me is how much I have developed as a cook. I am to the point where I'm not really afraid to try to make most things myself. Lots of times, they turn out really well! I really like my own shrimp fajitas, I can cook a really tasty honeybaked ham (the magic is in the glaze), and I took breakfast to a whole new level over break. I'm experimenting with soups and liking many of the results. I make onion and cheese stuffed burgers that are to die for. In short - I am really starting to get pretty darn good as a cook. Given that this is the case, why would I want to eat something made with (usually) inferior ingredients that I'm able to prepare myself, and be sure of the ingredients/point values? A lot of the times, it is better anyway. I am getting confident enough that I can alter recipes with reasonable confidence. For example, yesterday I made egg salad and it turned out really well. As I was making it, I played around with the Recipe Builder on the Weight Watchers website. This is a really slick tool that helps you to calculate how many points are in your recipe so that you can easily track what you're eating. I ended up fiddling around with the recipe until I ended up with something that was only 4 points for a generous about 1 cup serving! I was pretty happy/proud/excited! It was really really tasty too. I think one of the keys was spicy mustard and the other key to low points was not using all of the yolks. 3 egg whites = 1 point!

Over the break I made my signature tasty burgers. They're based on this recipe. Sunny Anderson swore you should use the fatty 80/20% beef and, although I was unwilling to do that, I did half the leaner 95%/5% and half the more fatty 80%/20% beef. I ate two of the burgers over the break, but I froze the other two to enjoy later. I nearly choked as I put the recipe into the recipe builder on the WW website. The hamburger patty alone was 12 points! It was delicious though and I did not want to waste the food so I was determined to enjoy it. Plus, I have about 40 activity points I've earned this week so I was in good shape point wise. I ended up having the burger on a bun (and not a WW bun either) with half an avacado spread on top. Here is the part that floored me. It made me realize how much I am changing, and how much my attitude toward food is changing. I wanted to enjoy this burger with some pop and Doritos. Instead of buying a normal grocery-store-sized bag of Doritos, I bought a smaller gas-station-sized bag (2 1/8 oz) and a 20 oz Diet Coke so that I would not have the rest sitting around. Was the price per unit of food/beverage higher? Yes, absolutely. But I am just glad not to have that crap sitting around my house tempting me and begging me to eat the rest. I think that, fundamentally, I am changing how I think about food. I am changing what it represents to me. And I am changing my value system around it. In the past I would have bought the huge bag of Doritos and I would definitely have bought a 2L of Diet Coke. Not anymore, baby! Times, they are a changin'.

Am I there yet? Um, no. I still have to focus on making healthy choices a lot. It still occupies a lot of my mental capacity, and is very emotional for me. However, when I do things like buying smaller bags and THEN think about how it is actually a big step, I get excited. I also feel hope that, in fact, I can change my life and sustain these changes. That is probably half the battle right there.

So overall? I am loving eating at home more and eating out less. It is more work. It takes more planning. I view it as an investment -- an investment in my health and well-being.

Perfect 10 - Week 1

I am in for the Perfect 10 challenge. Here is my update, and I'm afraid that I will only earn a B- for this week.

Recall my goals are about eating out, losing weight, and exercise.

With regard to eating out, I have eaten out twice this week. Once was a bad mistake -- I had an appointment but did not eat lunch before it, got hungry and still had errands to run; I felt I had to eat out. It just wasn't going to work to wait until I got home (especially since grocery store was one of the errands). The second time I had a show to see at 7 PM and I worked out until 6:05 PM so I don't feel badly about grabbing some Subway to get to the theatre. Eating out only twice in a week does represent huge progress for me -- but I want to get down to once a week as stated in my goal. Better for my body and my wallet.

With regard to losing weight, who knows but I am doing the right things. I rejoined Weight Watchers. I am tracking everything meticulously -- even measuring everything. I'm doing the right things, so I think the weight loss will follow. We will see at my next Weight Watchers meeting.

Now the exercise. These do need some clarification/modification. Though my PT says I am allowed to do most things, one of the things I am NOT supposed to do is climb stairs so I am taking the stairstepper goal off of the list. It's not worth re-injuring myself over at all. Regarding the different classes, school starts next week and, with it, the regular schedule of fitness classes at my gym. This week the offerings have been quite limited, so I have not made it to any classes so far. I am hoping to make it to water aerobics this evening; weather permitting, of course. Regarding the elliptical machine. WOW I set a hard goal! I have downloaded several podcasts that have free workout music. My favorite are MotionTraxx and Technobeats. I tried to do an hour at 128 BPM (roughly the tempo of Black Eyed Peas' "I've Got a Feeling") on resistance level 12. HA! I did 20 minutes and then had to crank down the resistance. I've got a ways to go on that goal.

So, I'm in on the Challenge. Anyone else care to join? You can sign up over on South Beach Steve's site.

As for the random fact we're supposed to supply weekly as part of the challenge? I won two pie eating contests as a child. A glutton from a young age. Eating a whole pie at the age of 14 and probably about 8 in one sitting. Maybe my mom has pictures? If we can locate them, I will see if we can scan and post them. The more "impressive" of the two victories was against a probably 250 lb huge 13 year old. He was wearing a BFI shirt (similar to Waste Management). You could tell he meant business and was sure of his victory before the challenge even started. However, I just wasted this guy in the contest. You could tell he was surprised. Never doubt me! I'm way too competitive, and eating is something I excel at.

Perfect 10

I am toying with the idea of doing the Perfect 10 challenge. Lots of the cool weight loss bloggers out there are doing it. The idea is that you set goals and report weekly for 10 weeks on your progress. Each week, you also share a random fact about yourself on your blog.

My goals are threefold.

1. I would like to eat out less. In particular, I would like to eat out once a week at most with two caveats. First, if I am going out to eat with a friend that I would not otherwise get to see, I will allow up to two meals out a week (note, this does not apply to the daily lunches I used to eat with my colleagues). Second, I do not count catered lunches as eating out -- for example, food is provided at our bi-weekly faculty meetings; I will not count this against my eating out total.
2. I am going to get the weight loss train moving again. I have been maintaining with reasonable success, but I need to lose weight. 255-258 is about 100 lbs. over a healthy weight for my height.
3. I would like to keep the exercise train chugging along. I usually work out 6 days a week, and I would like to continue this. However, I would like to vary my routine a bit more than usual. In particular, I would like to

• Attend at least 3 different classes each week (and just so I document it, I don't consider aqua abs and water aerobics different -- for the purpose of this challenge, they will be considered the same)
• Be able to do 25 minutes on the stairstepper at once; currently I can only do 5.
• Be able to do 135 BPM for 60 minutes on the elliptical at level 10 resistance and level 12 incline. I have no idea whether I can do this or not; it is an arbitrary goal I just now set.

So, those are my goals. I think they are ambitious but doable. Is anyone else out there game?