Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Still here, and alive

I am making it folks. Not much to say, so let me do a quick bulleted list.
  • I tried Zumba for the first time since my back injury. While it did not hurt my back, my muscles were achy and tight. My knees also hurt. I am needing more sleep (8 hrs. vs. 7). It is how I imagine it must feel to be old.
  • I have been taking a class called Body Flow at my gym fairly frequently. It is a mixture of yoga, pilates, and tai chi. I have tried to like yoga on literally 5+ attempts before -- different teachers, different approaches, etc. and I have always hated it. However, I now love it for some reason even though I am not good at it. All of the stretching has been helping my back, which is why I signed up for it in the first place. It is also helping my mental well-being which is fantastic.
  • I mentioned how I've been back and forth on WW lately -- signing up, but then not tracking or caring and just trying to get stuff in my mental space fixed and unclogged. While the headgames continue to be an issue, I have tracked everything this week and felt good about it. I'm still eating what I want (i.e., Monday I had 41.5 points and yesterday I had 46.5 points whereas my points allotment is 29), but it somehow is helping to write things down. Also, I have have had a ton of exercise points to cover most of my eating.
  • The antidepressants are helping a lot. I still have times when I randomly burst into tears for no reasons, but thankfully they are further apart and only one time has it been in public (yoga class - embarrassing). The counseling is helping a lot too. I need to stop being so hard on myself, but 31 years of doing this constantly means it is hard to change.
  • The scale is starting to dip downward. For several weeks I was not trying on the weight loss front and just trying to eat in a balanced way (i.e., eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, make sure to get protein at every meal, etc.). I stayed between 235-237, which was ok for me. This morning I was 234 point something for the first time in several weeks. It feels great to feel capable of handling most of life AND making progress at losing weight for the first time in such a long time (maybe about May or June).
  • Several people commented that I had lost weight over the summer. Although this is not really true, I guess I must have toned up a bit. I just smiled and said thanks. I'm getting better at accepting compliments and not going into the "yeah, but..." crap.
  • I booked the trip with my friends to Disney World. I am really excited to head there in mid-November. I will be so delighted to go there and not feel ashamed to see pictures of myself when they take them so that they can sell them to you (e.g. at Splash Mountain).
I guess I had more to say than I thought! It's not organized, but I just wanted to let you know I am alive and I am making strides toward living a healthier life. I am realizing that health is so multifaceted -- mental, food-consumption, and exercise are all areas in which I am focusing. Sometimes, I can only work on one or two of these at a time, but not all three. And I am actually really ok with it and am not willing to beat myself up over not being amazing at all three all the time. But for now I am handling 2.5/3 and I feel fabulous about that!


  1. Go Sarah! You're so strong.
    Yay for the Disney trip !

  2. I have been wanting to take a Bodyflow class - everyone at my office raves about it :) I think you sound like you're on your way towards a better place mentally and emotionally and that's good to hear!


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