Friday, April 9, 2010

OBSESSION!!!!

I have always been...how can I phrase this politely or not paint myself in TOO bad a light...highly passionate about some things. The things change over time, but man, when I get engaged in an activity or hobby or interest, I devote myself to learning about it and participating 100%.

This can be great, but the unfortunate part about it all is that once I am over something, I am SO over it. I used to watch the Rosie show everyday when I was in college. This was in the days before DVR, so this meant that I would arrange my schedule so that I could be home to watch that show. I watched with intense interest as she had her desk competition that had different viewers design a desk everyday. I read her biographies. People told me that in real life she was mean and short with her staff, but I would not believe it and ignored them. I wanted to believe what I wanted to believe. Now I am completely over Rosie, and I cringe when I see her. Man she drives me nuts.

There are other things that I get obsessed with and then I just kind of fizzle out on. I used to be this way with keeping up to date with what is going on on Broadway -- I would read message boards like BroadwayWorld and All that Chat... Although I still like Broadway and especially musical theatre, I am in no way obsessed with it anymore and I just don't have the capacity to be so so into it anymore.

This kind of scares me about the weight loss thing, and is one of the beefs I have with Weight Watchers (although this one is an indictment of me and my personality, not Weight Watchers). I like to track. I am an engineer, and I love data and metrics and numbers. This part of the point system really appeals to my analytical side.

However, if I am not careful I let the obsessive side of me take over and let tracking take on an unnaturally and unjustifiably large place on my priority list. I see points in everything. I become OBSESSED with tracking both food and activity points. I'm not very good about letting Weight Watchers be in the background of my life -- it is either front and center, or I'm really not tracking at all. Though I lose a ton of weight when I track, I hate that I feel like I have to be so obsessive about it. I want WW to be just one more thing I do, like driving to work, or brushing my teeth in the morning. I don't want to think about it all the time. I realized that if I am not careful when I am tracking, I think about WW as much as I used to think about food which was almost always. I am trying to reach a point of moderation with this. Does anyone else identify with this or have suggestions? I welcome them.

Also speaking of obsession I think I am kind of obsessed with bike riding right now. Although I am glad to be obsessed with something healthy, I realize that being obsessed with anything isn't great. I am now about 30 miles from my Fativersary goal of riding 120 by April 21. This totally doable -- all I will have to do is ride my bike to work 3 more times and I've got it in the bag!

1 comment:

  1. I can relate - I tend to fixate on things as well. For example, when I find a restaurant I really like, I want to go back there over and over, or listen to the same song over and over until I'm sick of it. Or eating the same snack over and over. Perhaps it is an engineer thing? I think you'd make a great triathlete, if that's your thing...tri people are all very focused with training, with biking, with all the components. (There are 3 other triathletes in my fam, so I can speak with a fair amount of authority.) This is not a bad thing. I think it is just a characteristic of type A personalities. Last year, for me the sport was front and center (as in, when I wasn't talking about it, I was thinking about it all the time), and this year I'm learning the "balance" part. (I'm not quite as fixated.) I try to remember to enjoy it - for example enjoying the view during a workout - rather than just pounding out the miles. It's easy to get caught up in the end goal and forget the beauty around. I think it's GREAT that you love biking. The key is to always find new ways to switch it up to stay interested. (If you're like me.) For example, finding new routes to ride and new scenery. Congrats on being WELL on your way to achieving your goal...that is AWESOME!

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