Sunday, December 5, 2010


This weekend, one of the people at our Thanksgiving was someone that I didn't know too well. She was a part of an arranged marriage with a good friend of mine from graduate school, so it was so nice to get a chance to spend getting to know her.

At some point, the topic of weight came up. I don't even really remember how (although maybe it was due to talking about my mango allergy, which led to my blog?). Anyway, she asked how I got started losing the weight.

As I told her, I cried. I was surprised.

Another friend -- one that I have now known for 9 years (can't believe it's been that long) -- has been friends with me at my fattest and during the first period in my life where I lost weight. He and I were also talking about this journey at one point during my visit.

Once again, I cried.

I have to admit, this kind of surprises me. These guys were not asking anything mean-spirited or judgmental at all. They were both kind and compassionate and genuinely supportive and interested. They were giving out nothing but good vibes.

I've been on this journey for a year and a half now. I have made progress, faced challenges, felt like giving up, pressed on, and have ultimately come out at a much better place. I am feeling like I can do "this" -- this healthy living thing, including but not limited to eating right and exercising often -- forever, and it is shocking to me sometimes the degree to which the choices I'm making feel natural. For example, there was a point last week I was craving lentils, and the thought of Doritos or cake just sounded gross.

So why is this place in my life and my heart -- the one that deals with weight and getting healthy -- still so emotional to talk about? I am not sure, but I feel as though I must figure it out so that I can work through the issues that underlie this sensitivity. Any insights would be appreciated.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe it's not a bad cry. You've had a long journey, accomplished so much, overcome so much in making all these changes. There is a lot of emotion in a life change like this. There's a lot of emotion even just in the change of moving to Arkansas and all that you've done there as well. It is hard not to get emotional when looking back and seeing how far you've come. You've worked through a lot of internal and external changes. I am not sure what you were feeling that you cried (happy, angry, proud, ashamed, etc)... But how could you not cry lumping all that you've done in the last few years into a recap story, that's a lot of emotion jammed into a small time. I'm sorry for rambling, but I wanted you to know that I'm proud of you and it's okay that you cried (even just opening up about your journey is a great accomplishment!).


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