Disappointing Weigh In

This week I weighed in at 229.6. The good news is that I'm down 0.4 lbs from last week. The frustrating news is that I'm not officially to the lowest weight I've been as an adult yet, even though I've seen it this week on the scale! While that in and of itself is disappointing, the reason I'm frustrated is that I tracked everything this week like a good little Weight Watcher.

To me this suggests two main things:

1. Perhaps I need to start weighing/measuring things again. Maybe the eyeballing method is not working out for me right now (my eyeballs are typically more generous than a measuring cup or scale).

2. The body will do things in its own time. I often say it, but that's because I'm largely reminding myself because as a competitive and largely high-achieving person. It is hard for me not to perform well or make goals, especially when I give it my all. That having been said: You cannot script weight loss. The body will lose weight when and how it wants to.

I can control my behaviors and choices (e.g., tracking food and exercising), but I can't control when and how my body releases the weight. And, honestly, doing the healthy behaviors is more important anyway given that this is not a sprint or race to lose the weight. This is about living a life that is healthy, enjoyable, and sustainable. As long as I'm making the lifestyle changes to support living a healthy life, who cares when I make if I make it to my goal weight in 18 months or 24? Even if the math says I could bust it out in 4 months with a very strict 1200 calorie diet, personally I don't think I could enjoy life by being the level of a food Nazi that it would take to do make it to my goal so quickly. And OMG I don't think I could ever live on just 1200 calories/day for the rest of my life. (Also, although the changes I've made and continue to make are driven primarily by health reasons and very little by aesthetics, I hear that losing weight more slowly will minimize the chances of loose skin which I think is gross and scary, so that's extra justification for my slow but steady method.)

This week already I am struggling. I have gone way over my points today and probably have blown my weekly points stash too. I don't really even know why. This week will be a challenge to balance the indulgences that traditionally come with holidays (which I have no intention of cutting out completely) with the wise choices that I know will help propel me achieve my health and fitness goals. No one said this journey was easy, and today I am feeling that for sure. This week is likely to be tough -- I can feel it already. Ugh, good thing I usually like challenges.