A (sorely needed) Victory!

Yesterday I was bummed out and decided I needed to get out of the house. The doctor says it is good/important to walk so, even though it hurts, I decided to do it. The good news is it didn't hurt as badly as I expected. I'm not out of the woods by any stretch of the imagination, but I am on the way which I have to say is great.

I decided to go shopping. I needed a pair of brown casual shoes (not dress shoes, but the kind you can wear with khakis that feel comfortable). I wear size 11 so finding shoes 1) period, that are size 11, 2) that are not tragically hideous, and 3) comfortable is not always easy. I think buying shoes online is dicey (paying return shipping if they don't fit, which can be expensive and is certainly annoying) and/or pricey (zappos = free return shipping but good luck finding a deal there!). I decided to go to TJ Maxx first.

Although I did not find the shoes I needed, I did find a cute outfit, $10 for the shirt, $17 for the pants. Score! I intend someday to do a post about clothes in general (being able to find clothes that fit, not being mortified to try things on in a dressing room, etc), but I will not do that this time. I will just relate this story to you.I started this whole get healthy thing at a size 26. It wasn't pretty. I am now to the point where I usually wear a size 20, which is obviously progress. When I went to TJ Maxx, I saw these pants that I thought were cute. Forutnately, they had a size 20. I decided to try them on, and I thought they might be too big. I went to ask the dressing room lady's opinion, and she suggested trying on one size smaller.

"Surely you jest," I thought in my head. "There is no way I will fit into an 18 yet!" Nonetheless, just for giggles, I thought I would try on the 18s. OMG! They fit! They actually look good! I was so excited, I took a picture right in the TJ Maxx dressing room. I thought they looked good, so I bought them.

It is interesting to note that this picture shows how misaligned I am if you look for it. I did not even notice it until after I took the photo, but WOW no wonder I am hurting! On the left of the photo you will see that my right foot is more forward than my left foot. That is because my hips are twisted. You will also notice that, on the left of the photo, my right hip is lower than the left one, yet my right shoulder is higher. Very bizarre. I am hoping that things start to work their way back into place soon. I am so over this misalignment crap, and the pain it brings.

However, let's go out on a happy note -- the note that brought me here -- I now fit into a size 18 pant! (Note I think this pair of pants is an anomaly as I recently tried on a pair of size 20 pants that was too tight. Although I was cursing the variation in sizes when the pants were too tight, I will take it now because this variation came out in my favor...)

Should I stay or should I go?

I have had plans since October for Thanksgiving: I was going to go to my friends' place in Missouri. This ongoing back/hip saga has jeopardized those plans. I honestly don't feel good at all, and don't want to be a Debbie Downer around others. I think I would likely snap out of that if I went, though. More to the point, though, I don't know if I can sit up and drive for 6 hrs with this hip stuff. I think it would hurt too much, and the trip would be 6 hrs each way.

If I stayed here, though, what would I do? I would probably be down and lonely. That's no good. I thought about what to do for food. I could cook for myself and I'd make delicious stuff, certainly...but then I would have way too much food, and wouldn't want to eat or throwaway the leftovers. I could go out to eat, but I a) can't find anywhere other than a janky Clariton in town with a Thanksgiving spread and b) would feel like a total loser by myself eating out on Thanksgiving.

I'm not sure what to do. I really want to go to Missouri, but I really don't want to drive there or be a downer. Maybe I should just take more Aleve and maybe another meloxicam and go. I am not sure what to do.

Where I have been...

First of all, I appologize for the lack of posting lately. Things have been busy and, well, I have fallen off the wagon somewhat and that is exactly when I should be posting. I have also been really discouraged.

As to the "Yay I can exercise!" and "Wow, I am so going to own this Thanksgiving!" posts? Yeah, not going so well. I woke up several times through the night on Sunday with excruciating hip pain that has lasted all week. It totally sucks. My eating this week has been good sometimes, but mediocre to poor most of the time.

Things really took a downward turn when I went to Sam's Club Friday night. I happened on an event called "Taste of Sam's" (a complete coincidence) which was a sample day on steroids -- they had SO much good stuff to try! My favorite thing they had was smoked cheddar cheese. Man it was delicious. I made a mistake and I bought some: 1.16 lbs of cheese. I ate it in two days. Man.

The next day was Saturday and, like I posted, I had to work. It was catered with Panera and I did ok, but the food was not healthy and there were no fruits or veggies. Diet for the day: Panera, lots of milk, cheese, crackers, and hummus. Not stellar, and sorely sorely lacking in fruits and veggies.

The next day I finished off the cheese and ate dinner with friends. Great to catch up with them, and we made delicious (and relatively healthy) gyros. Go us. Eating grade for that day was a solid B.

Monday I have no idea what happened but I was so munchy. Perhaps I was genuinely hungry, I don't know. Either way, the bottom line is I ate 4 cookies and 1 brownie over the course of the day (in addition to regular food). By the way, we're not talking about normally-sized cookies either, but rather the "we're catering and giving you a cookie that is the size of 2.5 cookies" variety. Not stellar. Lunch was catered for a faculty meeting, and in the evening I went out to eat and overdid it. A tiny victory there is that I did take about half of the dinner home because it was too big for me to eat at once.

Yesterday I did ok not great on the food horizon.

I have really hit a rough patch with the exercise. My doctor says I can and should exercise, but since the hip issues have resurfaced with a vengeance, I sometimes really cannot exercise. I took Saturday and Sunday off, partially because of laziness, partially because of legitimate busy-ness, and I do honestly think it is ok and that I don't need to exercise 7 days a week. That is a slippery slope to start down, though.

Monday I went to aqua abs and tried to go to a PiYo class (pilates/yoga fusion). The water stuff felt ok to good, especially the stretching parts. I only did half of the PiYo class. I did not do anything with intense twisting or anything that caused me extreme discomfort. I ultimately got frustrated and was hurting too badly so I quit halfway into the class. Yesterday, I did the elliptical machine for about 25 minutes and did about half of a cycling class before I quit. It hurt too bad (even though cycling is supposed to be good for my hips and back) so I left. I then was in bed for the rest of the day, laying down. Crap.

When I went to the doctor last week, she gave me a prescription for 15 mg Meloxicam. This is an anti-inflammatory drug and is supposed to help with the arthritis and back stuff. She suggested I take it on an as needed basis. As I have mentioned, I really despise taking medicine. I would much rather go the all-natural way and/or tough it out when possible. However, that is clearly not working in the case of my hip/back issues and so I have buckled and started taking the Meloxicam once a day for now. The first day it really helped, but yesterday it did not do much (or, if it did, I think I would have passed out without it...)

I am really frustrated with all of this. I think I am going to start physical therapy at the first of the year. I am nowhere near my insurance deductible for the year, and everything is out of pocket up until I meet the deductible -- so waiting it is. I have ordered a yoga video that is to stretch, align, and strengthen the hips. I am hopeful that will help in the meantime. If anyone else has other suggestions, please offer them. I will try most anything at this point.

PS

This morning I was above the goal. I forget the exact weight but it was around 255. Dang it.

Mine Field

Today is going to be a food minefield. Already I have cheese, hummus, crackers, and sparkling white grape juice -- and way too much of each. Today I have to go into work for an event to recruit high school students to the University. I am pissed that I have to do this, especially on Ohio State-Michigan game day! There will be tons of delicious cookies and good food there, and I must remain strong and not overdo it. Oy.

Don't know what to do next!

As I mentioned this morning, I have made it to my goal. Well, kind of. I have made it to the number part of my goal, but the goal states that I will make it through Thanksgiving at this number. That obviously implies a lot of discipline, maintaining this weight through this glutton-fest that is Thanksgiving. I think I am up to the challenge. I am going to my friends' place in Missouri which will be great, but will mean that I will be away from the gym. I would like to incorporate walking into my trip up there, and will work hard on portion controls but probably will not say no to any of my normal Thanksgiving favorites.

This sudden and dramatic weight loss has me absolutely baffled. If you recall, a long time ago I had a goal to make it to 249.4 by September 21 ("50 by fall"). Obviously I didn't make that and have been hanging out in the mid 250s for quite awhile now. I decided it was time to saddle up the horses and get going on the weight loss thing and, voila, it just drops off. Bizzarre.

There are a couple hypotheses I have as to why the weight could be falling off so quickly.

• It's like the initial weight loss all over again. When people start to lose weight, the first 5-10 pounds fall off so so quickly.
• I started to exercise again after an almost 3 week time off of that. My body's metabolism could be really revved up.
• I am eating a lot more fruits and somewhat more veggies than usual. Maybe something do with that?
• It could just be a fluke (but I don't really think so -- 1-3 lbs can be a fluke; 5 lbs is starting to be "real" weight I think).

The weirdest part (to me) of this loss is that I have been making ok but not stellar choices. For example, let me talk about what I ate yesterday. For breakfast, I had 3/4ish cups of fat free cottage cheese with a ton of fruit salad on top (fresh pineapple, strawberries, blackberries, papaya). I also ate two oranges throughout the morning to keep me from being hungry. Like I mentioned yesterday, lunch yesterday was catered. Turns out it was catered by Qdoba -- delicious! Bad stuff first: I had some chips and cheese dip. Cheese and cheese dip definitely are definitely weaknesses for me. For the rest, I had a reasonable portion of rice, black beans, a little steak, some cheese, sour cream, guacamole, and a lot of corn relish and pico di guillo. Not too bad. For dinner, I went to Jimmy John's and got my usual (#5 Vito, no capicola, extra lettuce, tomatoes, onions with Skinny Chips). At night, I had a huge bowl of cherry tomatoes and also a pear. I would say that is a decent day of eating, but nothing stellar. Certainly nothing like 1200 calories. For exercise, I did my usual 1/2 hr of aqua abs and 1 hr of water aerobics. It was good. I would have expected to be at a calorie deficit but nothing extreme, and CERTAINLY not enough to justify a couple pounds.

Oh well. I will take it. I am ecstatic to be working toward my goal and am committed to doing this the natural and healthy way (i.e., eating "real" foods not shakes, eating a balanced diet, being able to find something to eat in what everyone else eats, etc). Plus, I love carbs way too much to ever do something like the Atkins diet!

I made it?

No time for a real post. I have to be to the gym by 7 so I just want to say I made it to 253.2 this morning, 0.2 lbs under my goal. Now don't get me wrong, I am very excited about this but also very confused and a little concerned. 5 lbs in 3 days?! More later.

Challenge update.

Despite not having a stellar food day and not working out yesterday evening (worked out in the morning), I am down this morning to 255.8. This challenge is looking doable. A lot of that weight must have been faux-weight (water weight, etc?). I made a huge fruit salad yesterday which should make eating the right thing easier (it will be a quick, non-processed choice while it lasts). Today I have to eat out twice -- once for a lunch at work they are having catered, and also between water aerobics and going to see the Crucible tonight. Will work to make good choices, but at least for lunch this could present a challenge. We'll see.

Reason I didn't work out last night? My back/hip hurt. Crap.

Oh yeah...

I am about to finish up my day here at work and I am so hungry! If I am not focusing on eating right (i.e., both in the types of food and the volume of food), I rarely get hungry. I just go through the motions and eat at the appropriate meal-ish times. Today my eating has been great (return of the daily food pics to come, perhaps), and OMG am I hungry. When I first got hungry I was like "Oh yeah, I haven't been eating out of hunger lately just out of habit." You should eat because you're hungry, not because you're just in the habit of doing so. I forget that sometimes (often?). Thanks to my hunger signal for reminding me...

5 lbs by November 30?

This morning I weighed in at 258.4, which is outside my control limits. Yesterday afternoon I felt like an absolute hiefer. I think I had gas or something that made me feel bloated, but I have definitely gained a bit of real weight in the last few weeks. My eating has been TERRIBLE and not exercising did not help either. Also yesterday the workout clothes I brought? A bit tight, and absolutely not a flattering shirt (even had a food stain on the boob -- lovely). Also had to don a swimsuit for the first time in awhile. It wasn't pretty.

ANYWAY...back on topic. I said I would like to emerge from Thanksgiving not just by staying even but with a loss. I will need to work out hard and watch what I eat in preparation for Thanksgiving. I am going to indulge on Thanksgiving and eat some delicious food, please understand. However, I am going to work to not let it turn into an all-out glutton fest, eating 5 lbs of mashed potatoes myself (seriously, I could do it).

So the number I'd like to be at? Something <=253.4 lbs. This number has been reached as a result of the following:

1. It represents the lowest weight I've been on this journey. I think the first time it might have been a fluke though.
2. I think 5 lbs in 2 weeks is doable given that I haven't been working on this in awhile. My body should let the weight go, especially with a sudden increase in activity level.
3. Why not be ambitious?

So, I will keep you posted. Lately I have become a daily weigher, which I know is not what WW would recommend but I guess I am obsessive like that. I don't freak out too much when there is a big change -- it is mostly for informational purposes. I will keep you posted. I only half believe that I can actually do this, so encouragement is most certainly appreciated. Anyone else want to jump on this wagon with me now?

Great News - I can exercise again!

So the good news -- in case you're not friends with me on Facebook -- is that I can exercise. WOW! Who would have thought that that would be something to make me ecstatic. Back in the day I would DREAD the thought of exercising. Celebration would have been the last reaction I would have had to the ability to exercise. But now? I AM SO PUMPED!

I went to my new doctor and I really liked her. She seems to think that the degeneration in my back is not nearly as bad as the chiropractor thought, and that I should absolutely exercise to help get over this. She said that I would probably have back problems for the rest of my life (sorry folks, I'm not allowed to lift heavy boxes or help with moving), but that I could expect to have about 20 or so years relatively pain free other than the occasional flare up.

Last night I went to the aqua abs class I usually go to and it wasn't bad. It was the easier of the two teachers which probably worked out better for me in that I could ease into it. I also decided to get my elliptical on and did about 35 minutes there. The intensity varied from high hills with a lot of resistance to not much resistance at all. I really wanted to quit a couple times, but I soldiered on and it ended up feeling great. This time I will try to remember my headphones though, to make things more enjoyable :) Tonight I am going to try to do both the abs class and the aqua aerobics class...and maybe even some elliptical if I am feeling ambitious. If anything starts to hurt, though, I am going to take it easy. Don't want to aggravate things.

And, she punts.

I haven't forgotten my idea below, but I am too exhausted to think about it right now. I just got home about 45 minutes ago from working out, eating, shopping. I will update this tomorrow. I owe you 2 blog posts. Sorry readers.

Idea

I will post the idea tonight in its more filled out version, but I had an idea. I have told you guys that I am working to maintain my weight through the holidays. I usually give myself a couple pounds leeway figuring there is a little give and take around how much sodium you consume, how much water you consume, etc.

Anyway I feel so invigorated after some good news I received this morning (I will post about it later -- at work now and I want to give this news the semi-lengthy post it deserves) that I feel inclined to step it up a notch. I want to post a loss by Monday November 30. I will post more about how much I weighed this morning and what I will consider a victory tonight when I have time to think about it and analyze the numbers.

Feeling hopeful...

This post might have a little TMI -- you have been forewarned.

Because I haven't been going to the gym or water aerobics because of these freaking back issues, I haven't been shaving. Things had gotten pretty disgusting and very stubbly. I am going to the doctor this morning, and hopeful that she will let me do some gentle exercise after going to see her. In preparation, I shaved.

Can I just let you know what a difference this made? Wow, I feel kind of like a new person! There really is something to the whole "letting yourself go" concept. I feel so much better than I do yesterday, and all because of a little thing. I should not go this long without shaving again...unless I am trying to build up to the point I can wax (I thought about it this time but decided that is WAY too expensive so skipped it).

Overdue Hiking Post - Glory Hole

I took this hike last weekend and promised a post on my hike eventually. Sorry it is overdue, but here it is...

First of all, get your minds out of the gutter. I went to the Glory Hole which is not what you sickos think, but rather a pretty neat waterfall in Arkansas. The name is derived from the fact that over the years water has eroded away at a hole though which comes a pretty neat waterfall. I had seen beautiful pictures, but was honestly slightly disappointed when I saw the hole myself for the first time.

First of all I had read this is an easy hike. I would kind of agree, but also disagree would caution future hikers/guidebook writers not to mistake "short" and "easy". The hike is relatively short (~2 miles round trip), but it is STEEP and the trail is really beat up -- you really need to watch for potholes or you will roll your ankle, guaranteed. It is worth the trip though. Let me start at the beginning.

The trail is not easy to find unless you absolutely know what you are looking for. The directions say to look for a split in the road and 5.7 miles from the split, look for a barn with an "E" on the side of it. I was expecting a hugely painted E -- the E is not small, but it is pretty modestly sized. Nothing at all like a full-sized Coca Cola ad or anything of that magnitude, but still big enough to see. Heaven help future hikers finding this trail if the owners of the barn decide to paint over that E! You are then supposed to pull over and park across from the "house". Let me say that to use the term house on the structure that this trail is across from is pretty generous. It is a structure to be certain, but use your imagination to come up with a stereotypical vision of what you would picture as an Arkansas house, and sadly that would be about what this "house" looked like. When I get into rural Arkansas (which is usually only when I go hiking or kayaking), I am amazed at the poverty. It is really quite startling.

Back on topic...I saw there were 10-12 cars pulled off to the side of the road and figured I must be in the right place. I thought for sure this couldn't be a good idea to park like this but I did it anyway since I had driven about 2 hours to get to this place. Turns out my car was fine.

There is about a 1/4 mile walk from the main road to the trailhead. It is not a bad walk -- flat with some potholes but overall fine. At the trailhead there is this marker. Ahh, rustic Arkanas at its finest. Gotta love redneck advertising and the unnecessary quotes.

In case you can't read it, the sign says "The 'Glory' Hole". I can only imagine how the subtitle was written. I believe it first said "About 1/2 mile". I think as an afterthought someone wrote the + so it read "About 1/2+ mile". The most hilarious part (and the reason I took the picture) is hard to see, but beneath the subtitle someone had written in chalk "about 2 miles back". So so true (even though it is the exact same trail that leads you both down and back--this absolutely seems accurate!).

The hike down is not a huge deal. It probably takes about 1/2 hour or so. It is noticably steep though. I had to say it made me nervous to hike back while taking this huge drop in elevation on the way down there.

The trail ends pretty abruptly. Thankfully, there was a group of hikers down at the bottom who told me that this, indeed, was the end of the trail. From the end of the trail, you are able to clearly see the hole through which the water falls (if you know to look for it that is).

From the hole, though, it is a non-trivial (but short) hike to get to the falls itself.

The hike from the hole shown above to the falls basically sucks. This picture hopefully gives you a little appreciation for the difficulty of reaching the bottom (at least for people who have lived ~29 years/30 worth of a sedentary lifestyle).

It's worth it, though apparantly the time of the day when I came was pretty underwhelming from a lighting perspective. I was unable to capture some of the beautiful shots of this place I had seen in books and online. Oh well, I guess we can't all be Tim Ernst, can we?

The hike up? Let's just say it sucked. And the people who said it was 2 miles back? That seems about right. I could not find online the elevation gain on the trail, but it was so significant, especially for someone from the flatlands of Northwest Ohio. I was glad I had my 32 oz waterbottle with me, and a gallon of water in the car. I think I had about 80 oz of water during/immediately after this hike -- and it was only about 65ish degrees (which, incidentally, I am convinced is the perfect weather for hiking)!

My final verdict on this hike is that it is really nice, but not worth a 2 hr drive. If you're in the area, absolutely stop in. If you can couple this with another hike in the area, do it. However, don't just drive 4 hrs round trip to see this. Perhaps my expectations were too high, but I do have to say this hike left me a little disappointed. However, I got to listen to 3 episodes of This American Life, so it wasn't so bad afterall :)