The good and the bad

The good: I went to the gym yesterday and today. An hour on the elliptical each time. I remember when it used to be such a struggle for me to do even 10 minutes, and now I can rock an hour on medium resistance without even thinking twice about it.

Now the bad: today I could not stop eating. I had a large but reasonable breakfast. For lunch I made a veggie pizza (will post about this later probably). It was good, but after I had 2 pieces I was not full. Nor 3. My stomach was still rumbling and I wasn't even feeling satisfied after half a pizza (a pizza is made with 1.5 cans of crescent rolls so that should have been more than enough food!). I had an apple, figuring the fiber would help. Then I went back to the pizza and, long story short, I ended up eating the whole thing. I felt dirty and ashamed.

I had a moderate to large dinner of leftover shrimp fajitas. I wasn't hungry, but I ate them anyway.

Tomorrow is a new day. I am glad about that. I need a fresh start.

Christmas break

One of the beautiful things about academic life is the Christmas break we get. It is sad to read people's facebook status updates and blogs and think about them having to go back to work tomorrow. Sigh.

I have to say, this break is not ending up like I thought it would. First of all, this allergic reaction was not on my radar screen at all. Neither was the snowstorm we got on the night of Christmas Eve. As a result of the snowstorm, I stayed at home all day and had a low key day rather than just vegging out at the movie theatre as I had planned. I didn't want to go down the hill in my car or otherwise on very poorly-cared for streets. People in Arkansas have no idea how to take care of icy or snowy roads, and I heard the trucks weren't even out since it was Christmas Day.

Still, I've seen some of the movies I wanted to -- Up in the Air, Invictus, Precious, Avatar, the Blind Side -- already. However there are still more that I want to see, most notably Nine, Princess and the Frog, and Brothers. Brothers is already out of the movie theatre near my house, so I will probably go to a theatre about half an hour away to see it. Not sure when I'll see the rest.

In order to justify taking the day to go see a movie or three, though, I felt I had to work out before I went. The gym at school is open over the break (which I think is great!!!), but its hours are very limited. Today, for example, it is only open from 1-4:50. I opted instead to go to the mini-gym in my apartment complex. It's small, the equipment is not top notch, but it works in a pinch. I did 30 minutes this morning on the elliptical machine. It felt pretty good, but the time I-N-C-H-E-D by. I was too bored to continue. I might need to do a second shift tonight to feel like I actually got a decent workout done today. I must say, though, after two days of not taking a walk or doing anything official to work out, it felt good. Now I think I have earned some time to sit on my butt and enjoy a movie. I might even go out to eat today. I haven't eaten out since Monday I don't think, which has to be some kind of a record for me. We will see if I try to be stubborn and prolong my eating out-less streak, or whether I treat myself to some On the Border. Their guiltless grill shrimp fajita tacos are quite tasty. (In the spirit of honesty, though, I usually do get a little side of cheese dip to go with my meal. TSK, TSK.)

Prednisone update

This morning I weighed in at 258.8. I am excited because this is actually close to the control range I try to stay in (255-258), despite the fact that I feel like I am retaining water like a MOFO. There is a possibility that the water weight is all in my mind and that I'm actually just doing ok, not well with respect to the weight...but who knows. This will all sort itself out soon enough (I am hoping).

Yesterday I had intended to start to wean myself off of prednisone (which, according to what I read, might actually be unnecessary since I have taken it for less than a week). However, I didn't for a couple reasons. The main one was that yesterday I washed my hands, I was at a sink that had separate controls for the hot and the cold water (vs. one lever that controls the whole thing). I turned on the hot water to wash my hands, and I almost instantly got that inflamed, yucky feeling where it feels like every single allergic bump in my hands is enraged. I hate that feeling and concluded that I am probably not over this darned allergic reaction. I guess I need to stay strong and keep taking these freaking drugs.

I took my second dosage of prednisone a little bit earlier yesterday than I had been. I'm not sure whether that is what did the trick or not, but last night I was only up 2 times -- once at 3:30 and once at 5:30. Since I have been taking this medicine my dreams have been much more memorable. I am not sure if they're weirder than usual or if it's just that usually have weird dreams but I remember them better when I wake up now. For example, two nights ago when I woke up so often I had several different dreams about each of the unmarried Duggar children except Jana and their courtships (please don't judge) from oldest to youngest. SO SO BIZARRE!!! I'll be curious to see if the dreams (or my memory of the dreams) stop when I stop taking this medicine.

OMG Potatoes!

I just realized I did not eat a single potato - mashed or otherwise - yesterday. WOW! I didn't eat super healthy (e.g., breakfast was 2 white chocolate chip-pecan waffles with an egg and a piece of sausage), but overall I didn't really just glut out on anything. I had ham sandwiches for both lunch and dinner, and had waffles for snacks...but I did not eat a single mashed potato throughout the day. Quite a change for the lady who LOVES potatoes. Go me!!

Weaning off Prednisone

Last night I was really tired at 10:30 so I decided to follow my tiredness to bed (very excited that I hoped it wouldn't be a struggle to fall asleep). I was up at 1:30, 3:15, 5:15, 6:15, 6:45, and finally I just got up at 7:45. I am going to take one full dose of prednisone today (not two), a half dose tomorrow, and then try to be done with it. I hope my allergy symptoms don't return and that I can get rid of this crap. I'm not a fan.

The sleep getting more interrupted and a killer ear ache (outer ear infection) and now the start of a cold are the straws breaking the camel's back for me. Because prednisone is an immuno-suppressant, the infection and cold are likely to get worse if I don't get off this stuff.

I will myself to do this.

It is time for me to take another prednisone but I don't want to. I will do the right thing and do it though.

Wow, it's been almost a week

A lot has happened, and very little has happened all at the same time. I am going to do a massive update and may post date things, so you might need to scroll a little further through the archives. Merry Christmas everyone.

Mango Allergy Confirmed

I wrote earlier about how I thought I might be allergic to mangos. I wasn't really sure, and most of the stuff I read was about how people have bad reactions to the SKIN of mango and not the meat so I thought I would give it another shot. Astute observers might have noticed those mangos in my groceries.

I had cut up the mangoes on Friday evening and was very careful to wash my hands, not touch my face, etc. Saturday morning I was fine so I thought I had dodged the bullet. Phew, my mango career was not over! That morning I had mangoes, cottage cheese, and kiwi mixed together for breakfast. Quite tasty.

Monday my skin was blotchy and kind of angry at me. I was not sure what was the deal. You can see in this picture from Monday (incidentally on my trail exploration) that my face is fatter and puffier than the day before. I did not notice that until posting all of these pictures and writing all of these blog entries.

Tuesday morning I was feeling kind of terrible, and my face was puffier. It continued to worsen throughout the day. In fact, when I went to bed that evening, I was worried my eyes might swell shut and even found my phone and slept with it right next to me just in case I needed to call 9-1-1 about that very fact.

Wednesday morning I looked like death warmed over. Terrible. I decided I needed to go to the doctor since this clearly was not getting any better and since her office was going to be closed over the Christmas holiday.

She confirmed that it is very likely that I am allergic to mango and said not to eat them again, ever. Um, YEAH NO KIDDING! Fortunately, mango allergies are very unlikely to cause anaphylactic shock (the kind that swells your windpipe shut), so I do not need an epipen or anything like that. However, she did say that the allergy will likely get stronger over time so future exposure to mango is a definite no no.

She gave me a prednisone shot and prednisone to take for the next two weeks. Have you read about the side effects of this drug? They are NASTY! Insomnia is one of the ones that I think, objectively, is the worst. Dizziness is another one.

However, weight gain, increased appetite, water retention, and fat redistribution are side effects. To me, these seem like the worst (even though, as I said, on paper not being able to sleep is the worst). These particular side effects are really hard on me because it was such a goal of mine to keep my eating pretty un-indulgent over break while allowing myself some holiday treats (if that makes sense). I now can't even really check on this progress because the scale is rising and I'm not sure how much is real weight, how much is water weight, and what in the world is going on with my body. Oh well, I will do what is right and take these drugs. I will get the weight I gain off (if it isn't all water weight). I will be vigilent about portion control and watching what I eat. I will not let this defeat me. I have worked too hard and come too far to let this derail me.

So far I haven't had a major problem sleeping. I did wake up more often than usual and it was harder to fall asleep, but not too bad. The problem is supposed to get worse the longer you take the medicine.

A happy side effect, though, is that this prednisone has virtually eliminated any sciatic nerve pain that I have had since I started taking it. I've gotta look on the bright side of this situation, and be confident in the end that it will all work out. I am glad that I am on the mend, and that my allergy does not constrict my airway. That would be absolutely terrifying to feel like you were choking to death.

No big news

Things here are moving along. I have taken lots of pictures that I need to upload and write about, but all in all -- no big news to report. Things are more or less on track.

Food Saver

This summer I bought a FoodSaver and I have to say I love it. It is nice to be able to make food and store it in individually sized portions for later. It's like having TV dinners, but food that I have prepared (with ingredients I know I like and usually lower-sodium and tastier than traditional frozen meals). I was doing well with this for awhile, but with the hectic-ness that was this semester, I fell off the wagon and stopped using the FoodSaver. I have gotten a second wind over break and have been using it a lot.

So far I have made a couple things. I have more on my list to make this week.

One thing I made was Lentil Sausage soup. I'm typically not a soup person, but trust me this soup is good! I doubled the recipe and made a huge pot. In retrospect, that may have been a bit much as the recipe as written produces a ton of soup. However it is really really good, and nutritionally and taste-wise this soup is a winner. Lentils are high in both fiber and protein. I used Sam's chicken apple sausage in the recipe as well and let me tell you that is delicious! Highly recommend that to the Sam's Club members out there. I will be enjoying this soup for months to come.

Here's the yummy soup.

Note that FoodSavers don't really like packaging liquids. They will suck out all of the juice and leave only the solids behind, so you have to trick it by freezing the liquids first. First divide your soup (or other liquid) into the size that you'd like to freeze.

Then put them into the freezer. I did not let the soup freeze all the way, but only to the point where it was sludgy. This way, the FoodSaver would not suck out the liquid (it was frozen), but the soup sludge was pliable enough that I could manipulate all the bags so that they would lay flat. This way, they take up less space in my freezer.

I have also made shrimp and cheese grits to freeze this break. I fell in love with this dish when visiting a friend in Atlanta, and so I was excited to make it myself. It's not too healthy, but the portions suggested in the recipe are huge. Believe it, I could easily make it by on a smaller portion. 12 points per portion, now frozen away for treats at a later date.

I also made this cranberry sauce extraordinaire. I doubled the recipe, saved a fourth of it to enjoy over the holidays (i.e., half of the recipe as written), and packaged the rest into three bags to enjoy later. I love cranberry sauce and am delighted that I will be able to enjoy this throughout the year rather than just at Thanksgiving and Christmas (the kind you make yourself is SO much better than anything you can buy from a store!).

I give the Food Saver a good review. It sucks all the air out of the bags, and then seals them. This leaves your food much less susceptible to freezer burn. I find the food moist and flavorful when I reheat it; the texture rarely seems affected. That having been said, there are foods that freeze well (most meats and lots of casseroles) and things that don't (tomatoes and some other fruits and veggies), but you can usually get some indication as to whether or not your food will freeze well by googling around.

Walking

One of my goals for this break is to work out regularly. I'm trying to mix it up and do things I wouldn't normally have time or the opportunity to do. Since the days are so short and the weather is typically chilly in the winter, taking a walk is on that list. The weather today was 50-60. In Ohio and Michigan, that doesn't happen too often so I figured I'd better seize the opportunity.

Unfortunately I didn't get my act together until around 4:30 and by the time I got my shoes on and drove to the place where I was going to take my walk it was 4:45. This was solstice-eve, i.e., the second shortest day of the year. You know, when the sun sets at 5:06. OK, better get my walk on. Here's a picture of me rockin' my headphones. I love to listen to This American Life while I am walking.

I decided to go on a trail that I am very familiar with. Turns out, I am not as familiar as I thought. I thought that I remembered the trail was lit; it isn't. No big, except that last year there was a rape on this trail (mind you, there are two sections of the trail: a nice, paved section, and a more rugged, unpaved section in the woods. I was on the [safer] paved section, not the unpaved section but I was still kind of freaked out when I realized the trail had no lights).

The trail is 5.5 miles and goes around the circumference of Lake Fayetteville. The lake is actually pretty gross (stagnant -- manmade I think, and with no inflow/outflow, you can imagine how disgusting the water is). However, the trail is nice. The paved part has mile markers every 0.25 miles to help you track how far you've gone. I figured they'd also come in handy in case I needed to call 9-1-1 about a rapist...not like I ever overreact or anything.

Anyway, I decided I would go until the end of the paved trail, and then I'd turn around and head back. When I got to the end of the paved part, though, I was greeted by construction equipment and a sign about trail expansion.

Most curious, I decided I still needed to turn back since I was headed into unfamiliar territory and since it was getting dark. Here are some shots I took on the way back.

The moon was beautiful, just a sliver of crescent.

It was too dark for this picture, but if I would have had a tripod, it would be really cool...

I think I went about 4.5 miles in an hour and 15 minutes. Not bad. I vowed that I would be back the next day to explore the new part of the trail and, sure enough, I was. More about that another time.

Groceries

I went to Sam's Club to really stock up on groceries over the break. I have been wanting to eat out less, both for health and financial reasons. I feel I can control my food better if I prepare it myself (e.g., I can use lowfat cheese, I can spices rather than fat to make food flavorful, etc). In addition, eating out can add up. Cheap food is rarely healthy at restaurants and healthy food is rarely cheap. Solution: eat at home more and start packing lunches. We'll see how the packing lunches thing goes.

Here's the loot I scored at Sam's. Yum. I think a key to being able to eat healthy is to have stuff ready. You can see the before and after pics below -- after as in after preparing them, not after eating them. (Minus, of course, the butter, ham and sausage which I put in the fridge for later) I tried to cut up everything so it would be ready to go in a jiffy for when I was hungry. I have been enjoying these groceries all week. Very tasty.

Dinner Party Update

I went to the dinner party, had a good time, and did not eat a single thing. Seriously. I dropped off the cookies I brought (which were delicious and I did sample while making) and just left the room where the food was. I talked to people and had a good time. I count it a victory.

It probably didn't hurt that I watched three episodes of the Biggest Loser and cut up 6 mangos, 12 kiwis, and 5 lbs of carrots prior to going over there. Mental preparation is a big part of the battle for me.

Dinner Party

Tonight there is a party at a family's house that I really like. They are such generous, giving people -- incredibly friendly and genuinely kind. I am feeling kind of down, I don't want to deal with people, and I certainly don't want to deal with the food. I will probably make myself go, but I really don't want to.

Happy Birthday Tim

Today is my middle brother's birthday. He doesn't like to talk to us, and calling to wish him happy birthday (if I even had his number) would be likely to incite some sort of situation. However, I really do wish him the best both today and always.

I was pretty mean to him when I was a kid, and now he is very self-destructive and volatile. I know it is not ALL my fault, but I do feel like it is mostly my fault that he struggles so much as an adult. I have apologized to him several times, but he acts indifferent. I am not sure what to do, but I do wish he would get help and get better.

I can't let myself or my eating derail today because I am sad for and feel guilty about the bitch I was to him when I was little.