Sunday, July 17, 2011

Tough week

I told you how last week I was teetering on edge with food. I didn't quite explain the whole story. Last weekend, I went with my brother to St. Louis for a quick mini-vacation. I was stressed and my productivity was waning, so I thought two days completely off (NO work, not even a little) would help me out. Incidentally, I have found that taking weekends off guilt free about 80%+ of the time is something that is pretty important for me to have a level head and to ward off depression. I honor this, and take weekends. I may do work around the house, but I don't do school work most weekends.

But anyway, last weekend I met my brother in St. Louis. I prayed for help from God with the food. "Please help me to make wise decisions." I felt good about my decisions, but my Weight Watchers week starts Sunday and on Sunday I was down to 12 weekly points (you start with 49 so basically I had a ton of food Sunday). I made the decision to track it and move on. I would not shirk my responsibility to be accountable for my food.

Anyway, that made it hard for the rest of the week as I had very little leeway on what I could eat (and I rarely stay within my daily points). And when you eat carrot cake? You know, that stuff that costs 18 points/slice? You're kind of hosed for the day unless you've got some extra points to dig into.

All this to day? I was starting on very thin ice if I was going to stick to WW for the week. But I did it, and I ended up only at -10 for the week (I thought for sure I'd end up much deeper in the hole than that).

I am realizing that Weight Watchers is something very deep to me. Not because it's the very best program out there (although I like it a lot, and so do nutritionists), but because it's an act of submission and surrender, and I feel accountable to it. As long as I am honest about what I eat, I am doing ok. Once I start fudging and not recording my food, I feel like it is a slippery slope. I am grateful for the structure the program provides. I am realizing it's important to be honest about what I eat even when especially when you ate half a deep dish pizza and some chocolate all in one day and that leaves you mostly out of any extra points for the week.

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