Irony

The title of my blog is that food will not define me forever. The genesis of the title is that nearly everything I used to do or think about revolved around food. Perhaps that is an exaggeration, but if so it is only a very slight exaggeration. I realized that having so many obsessive thoughts about food was extremely unhealthy and I vowed to change it. And I've made huge strides. But it's funny that a lot of my identity with some of my friends is still tied up in food. Let me explain...

I counted the other day and I have literally 15+ friends who are currently pregnant. I'm not exaggerating for effect; I literally have that many friends expecting kids, which is both great and kind of underscoring where I am in my life and where they are in theirs which makes me feel...well, I don't know. But that's not the point of this post.

For the friends in my community group having babies, we are planning on helping them by bringing meals soon after they deliver their children. This is a great service and I am so glad that we will be able to do this for them. I hope that it in some small way makes their transition to parenthood just a little bit easier.

It's funny, though, because I've only joined the group about a year ago and no one has had kids in that time -- hence, no meal sign up sheets for meal delivery service. People in the group are now so excited that I will be in the rotation to bring them food. They've made several comments about being so glad that I will cook for them, really looking forward to my meal, etc. I'll be honest and say there's a little performance anxiety it's causing!

Most of all, I take it as a complement -- that they enjoy my cooking, that they're looking forward to my meal. I am grateful to be able to serve them in this small way that I really enjoy (I like cooking a lot).

It's just funny that this one thing that I've worked so hard to have a functional relationship with and to move out of the center of my life (food) is a big piece of how people in this group view me. They enjoy my cooking (which is great and a good thing), but it is just funny given that I've worked so hard to distance myself from having food at the center of my life. Irony, for sure.

I told them and I will tell those of you who are my friends -- you don't have to get pregnant for me to cook for you. If you ask nicely, I will probably be more than happy to invite you over and cook for you. I really do find joy in cooking and sharing meals with others, even if it doesn't and won't define me.