Weird

The other day I was walking across campus to get some Papa Johns. Pizza is probably my favorite food, and that's probably because it has cheese on it. Wow, derailed and off topic on the second sentence of the post already!

Anyway...in front of the little food court where Papa John's is, there are often tables of students trying to get people to sign petitions, passing out flyers, and so on. The day I went to get pizza, they were passing out free bags of chips to welcome people back to school or something. Free Doritos! Doritos are my favorite!!! (again, the cheese)

"Do you want a bag of chips?" some student asked.

"No thanks," I responded.

OK, that's normal right? Someone living healthy passing on a bag of Doritos? BFD.

Actually for me it's a huge deal and here's why. In the past I likely would have said no so that's not what is new. What's new is that the answer "No" was reflexive -- I didn't have to stop and think "Do I really want this?" What's new is that the answer didn't cause me to white knuckle it past the group of students and take a different route back to my office after lunch so I could avoid having to face that temptation again. What's new is that there was basically no anxiety about forgoing the food. Thats what's new and that's what's awesome.

I have nothing against chips. In fact, I had Doritos the morning of this situation. But I know I can have them when I want them and there's no need to scarf them down like I'll never have the chance to eat them again any opportunity I get, and it's probably better to have almonds sitting in my office for when I get hungry rather than having Doritos around. THAT is what is new, and that is what is so freaking exciting to feel -- that food just really isn't a big deal, even if they're foods that I like a whole lot like Doritos.

I am changing, and it is weird but so gratifying. And so worth it.